Finally... I plucked up the courage to dial the number for my doctors surgery and book that appointment which I promised my Midwife I would do the day I saw her. She saw me on Monday 10th December 2012, and I rang up the doctors on Friday 14th. My other half kept telling me to do it but I just couldn't face it, although the midwife had assured me I was completely normal, I hated asking for stuff regarding depression...
First of all I thought I would do the easy part and book in my Whooping Cough jab and Flu Jab, both of which were recommended for me as whooping cough was making a come back and my immune system is currently really low. I think for the past few months I've had a cold at least every other week. I have a week of being able to breath properly and then another two weeks of being bunged up...
It was all well and good booking my appointment but the nurse was on reception for some reason and she didn't have a clue as to what she doing, or she kept getting lost in the system so she asked me to hold whilst she asked the other receptionist to help her get to the right part needed to book me into the surgery. The longer it was taking the more I was thinking, maybe I should just forget this whole thing and just tell my partner that I forgot to ask them about it and would ask them when I had the jabs, and then I could use the jabs as another excuse for forgetting to ask them about being diagnosed with depression. However, I took one look at my son playing with his toys and looking at me, and felt my little girl kick that I realised, I can't chicken out of this. I need to get help and I need it ASAP, and me making excuses is only going to prolong it and my children don't deserve that, nor does my partner and nor do I. Besides, I had put this phone call off for a week already, I only had another two before my follow up appointment at the Midwife and she'd be furious that I hadn't done as I said I would and that she had trusted me to do something that important.
So, taking a deep breath, once my jabs were finally booked in I quickly added that I needed to see the doctor as my midwife was referring me to him regarding depression. The nurse was kind enough to not say anything and not make me repeat anything I had just said down the phone and booked in my appointment with the doctor straight after my jabs so I could, in effect, kill two birds with one stone. That appointment is now booked for Weds 19th Dec. And quite frankly, I'm dreading it. Well, I'm currently dreading the needles a lot more than talking to the doctor, hopefully my fear of needles will over shadow the fear of talking about my problems.. We shall see..
Maria x
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